He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize