Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
