My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
