Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm like, not good at living.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
