Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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