I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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