I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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