we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize