is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
