i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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