woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
