I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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