READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We left the knife in your bed.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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