I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
