GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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