I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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