Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
