remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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