you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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