Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
