When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
