I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it hurts more in the daytime
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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