Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Randomize
