OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
