Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
