Pappa wants mamma naked
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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