using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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