She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
