Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
