My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
