Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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