She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
