please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
