Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
