If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
