I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
