Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my shit smells like andre
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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