Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
