i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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