Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
