the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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