woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
