The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
