i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
