Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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