playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
