i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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