She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
