grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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