More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize