Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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