Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize