So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
