Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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