My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
