so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
