And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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