They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
pray to the hookup gods
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
