why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
