We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
