omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she pinky promised me she was 18
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
