It's Friday. Sex?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
