i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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