make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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