we're blogging at a bar
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
