just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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