Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize