Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
