I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
