My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
